


To win a heart

by Rogercat



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Afterlife, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bearded Dwarf Women, Dancing, Dwarf Courting, Dwarf Culture & Customs, F/M, Gen, Grandparents & Grandchildren, Healing, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Memories, Mentions of Narvi, Mother-Son Relationship, Romance, Romance in old age, Slow Romance, Trans Female Character, halls of the forefathers, mentions of Celebrimbor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:54:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29407248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rogercat/pseuds/Rogercat
Summary: Frigga, the paternal grandmother of Narvi, swore off everything related to romance and a chance of married life after becoming a unwed mother at a very young age. But perhaps in the afterlife, there could be someone she could welcome
Relationships: Azaghâl/Original Female Character, Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Comments: 6
Kudos: 4





	1. Arrival to the Halls of the Forefathers

**Author's Note:**

> Some details of Frigga's past and how this ends up affecting her descendants is to be found in my main Celebrimbor/Narvi story called An Open Door
> 
> Also, Narvi's younger sister Loki is a transwoman who was designed male at birth but identify herself as a Dwarrowdam. She died of a brain cancer tumor at the young age of 40 years 
> 
> Kym is the name that the Author have chosen for the wife of Azaghâl, with Brenna for their daughter and Gorm for their son who was the next Lord of Belegost after Azaghâl

The afterlife was not too bad. Sure, Loki had felt an understandable mixture of relief and at the same time betrayal when she realized what her grandmother had done, but Frigga had expected her youngest grandchild to react as she did. It was one thing to end your own life because of old age and not wanting to be a burden to the family members, but tricking Loki into following her in death was a betrayal of trust that would take a long time to heal. Even if Frigga had done it to end the granddaughter's suffering from the cancer tumor in her brain that was slowly killing her. 

Balder, who had been surprised to see his mother and younger daughter arrive at the same time, tried his best to keep things neutral. Yes, he was shocked by what his mother had done, but he could also see the logic behind it once he learned the cause of why Loki had entered the Halls so young, not even of age, and knew that Frigga had acted to not let Loki suffer. 

  
  


As the family member who had arrived first in the Halls, meeting the maternal grandparents and other distant relatives he had never met in life because Frigga had been orphaned at a young age and then escaping to the Orocarni when she realized her pregnancy with him, Balder acted as a guide to Frigga and Loki to the general places for socializing and things you did in the mortal life, some days after their arrival. 

“And this is the Great Library of Belegost, as it is called. They specialize in anything related to the Noldor Elves thanks to Lord Azaghâl and his famous friendship with the Elf Maedhros, Lady of Himring.” 

Something about that name sounded oddly familiar, Frigga thought, but she could not place where she had heard it. One of the most common signs of new arrivals to the Halls was that their memories of life could be a little froggy before everything cleaned. 

“ _ Orc scourge Maedhros! _ ” Loki spoke up, reminding her grandmother of the tales she had learned about in her youth, “Narvi's Elf friend Khelebrimbor is the nephew of that Lady!” 

That comment caught some attention, for a voice was heard behind the other side of the filled bookshelf to the right: 

“Oh, her nephew is still alive after all those years? A fine lad with a good sense for crafting, that Elf.” 

“Good day to you, master Kóri,” Balder greeted when he saw the librarian arriving around the edge of the bookshelf, “I am just showing my newly arrived amad and younger daughter around.”

Kóri, who had been the personal scribe and librarian of Azaghâl during their respective lifetimes, was one of the Dwarves from Belegost that had been tasked with recording as much as possible about the Elves. For him who had seen his Lord form a deep friendship with the red haired Lady of Himring and live long enough to see the third month in the five hundredth year since the first sunrise, it would be natural to try keeping updates of her family. 

“Both mother and daughter….oh!” Kóri said in understanding when spotting Loki and realizing just how young she was. Nowhere young enough to be a child, but clearly underage and while recovering her old health at the arrival to the Halls, she still had some thinness in her face that suggested that her demise had been caused by a long-term fatal illness with noticeable weight loss as syndrome of something being wrong in her body. For Frigga, it was pretty obvious that she had died from high age with her white hair and wrinkles in her face. 

“I hope that the Halls shall offer healing from the sorrows of life, then.”

That was a common way of showing sympathy, without making new arrivals feel like they were pitied. 

~X~X~X~X~X~X 

As much as Frigga was overjoyed to finally meet her late parents and other relatives again, she found herself less than pleased to be treated like a young Dwarrowdam again by them. Sure, they merely wanted to give her all the love that she had missed since her adolescence when they died in that horrible cave-in, but for Dam who had identified herself as a mother from a young age, it somehow felt degrading to be doted upon like she was someone closer to the same age group as her own granddaughter. 

  
  


And the mere suggestion of trying out  _ romance _ here in the afterlife was out of question. 

“Am I selfish for refusing to socialize?” Frigga asked her old friend Freja, who had joined the Halls herself not too long ago and happily reunited with her royal husband Freyr, the former King of Khazad-dûm and the First ruler with that name from the Line of Durin. 

“Not with your horrible experience with Mimir from the House of Frost, and in the manner that he got you knocked up at a far too young age for a good outcome.” 

Frigga shuddered at the memory that she had tried so hard to forget. Not long after that she had been orphaned, Mimir had came to her with a offer of employment as a nursemaid for his long-widowed mother, who was in the beginning to become senile. The aged Dwarrowdam had been sweet-tempered and no trouble to help with in everyday ways such as dressing and bathing, but fatally blind to the real world outside her memories. Such as how  _ unpleasant _ her only child was becoming without an aware parent to keep him in control. 

No, Frigga had never doubted that Mimir had drugged both her and his own mother with some sleeping drug found in an illegal manner, so to hide whatever he had planned to do with her. For him, the underage Frigga had been perfect, an easily deceived prey with no protection of direct relatives guarding her. Not to mention that he had cheated on his own betrothed, a noble-born Dam from a respected family that he would end up marrying little over a month afterwards, after kicking Frigga out of the household by falsely accusing her for trying to steal the jewelry of his senile mother. 

Even with all the unspoken power that Dwarrowdams held in Dwarven sociality for being so rarely born, Frigga had known that she would never manage to fight back against Mimir at that time without any proof of what he had done to her, even with the help of Freja. And the moment she realized that she was pregnant, she feared for her unborn child. Even in a race that valued every child that was born and lived to adulthood, being an illegitimate child was not viewed kindly.

“....Frigga, what would you say about your family coming to dinner at our place? I told Freyr so much about you when he lived, and he would like to meet this close friend of mine that I ended up reuniting with in old age.”

Freja had seen that Frigga was remembering that unpleasant event, so she tried to change subject. 

“Yes...besides, Loki needs to put some meat on her bones again now when the brain tumor is gone. We can serve good food in our family, but she still is skinny after the illness that ended her short life.” 

Her family that had been crafted over her mortal life. She had to focus on her son and granddaughter now. It was already a blessing to know that Mimir and his legal son Calder had been refused entry to the Halls by the Maker because of their actions in life, so she would never see them again. 

~X~X~X~X~X~X 

Thanks to his age and long stay in the Halls, Kóri was not unfamiliar with the possibility of finding a spouse here in the afterlife even if one had not been married while alive. 

“I would like to  **_strangle_ ** the Dwarf who made her a mother at such a young age…”

By checking on the birth dates of the various members of the Asar family from the register of Dwarves that died in Khazad-dûm, it had not taken much logic to realize the age difference between Frigga and her only child. 

“I hope that it is not Brenna or Gorm who have annoyed you again by trying to see if you can be matched with some newcomer in a romantic sense, Kóri.”

Lady Kym, the beloved wife of his Lord and mother to the two rascals she just mentioned herself. Perhaps she had thought it's high time for him to come and train again with the other former court members on the famed Belegost step dance; he had neglected training over the last decade. 

“Nah, not the Miss and Younger Lord this time. Just wishing that we could  **_weed out_ ** bad individuals from our race at an early age in the mortal life before they could cause damage in some form.” 

Alright, this was not like the old librarian as far as Kym knew. She had known Kóri for most of her life, it was hard to miss his presence when he was the personal scribe of Azaghâl and naturally would be found close to his Lord. 

“Anyway, could you come over and explain the differences between the Noldor and Sindarin for an uneducated fellow that honestly thinks that was King  _ Finrod of Nargothrond  _ who was demanding that cursed gemstone as a bride price for his daughter?”

“What?” Kóri said in a flat, unimpressed voice, “last time I checked the family tree, Finrod only had a niece, Finduilas, from his younger brother Orodreth, and now in the Second Age, a younger niece from his sister Galadriel.”

Since Kym, Azaghâl and Kóri had all been alive at the time of the famous Quest for the Silmaril, that sort of misunderstanding and not managing to keep the Elven realms apart was not something they enjoyed to hear. Sure, Dwarves of lower status had the legal excuse of often being too poor to afford a proper education and needing to work for their daily bread, but those who honestly should be able to afford some form of schooling? Blaming tutors who may have learned the wrong names themselves, was not going to last long here in the afterlife. 


	2. Small steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It takes many small steps to change

With the passing of time, Loki forgave her grandmother for the way they both had died. And while respecting that Frigga refused to open her heart for someone, she did find Kóri a pleasant old fellow to be around, especially when she desired to broaden her own knowledge of the world. 

“Grandma actually likes to watch dance performances, even if she found her call in life to be fortune telling. We used to always watch something during the big important events across the year when we lived in the Orocarni.” 

Oh? Not that Kóri thought that the young Dwarrowdam was trying to set up something, she clearly was careful with her words.

“Well, then perhaps she and yourself would like to watch the next big stage performance of the Belegost step dance in a month. It is popular, so it can be a little tricky with getting seats.” 

Tossing over two copper pieces with different numbers on for her to catch, he basically handed over two booked seats for Loki and Frigga if they wanted to come. 

  
  


It took Loki some time to persuade Frigga, but in the end she agreed to watch the performance on the ground of it not being yet another attempt of her older relatives to try making her change her mind on refusing romance. 

“You always used to regret that you were never a dancer like lady Tora because you loved the dance lessons you got for free as a friend to Queen Dowager Freja back when you both were young,” Loki said gently, addressing the former Queen of Khazad-dûm and her still living daughter-in-law out of habit as she had done during life. 

“Loki is right, Amad,” Balder added in from the table where he was writing up what to buy from the market today, “let yourself enjoy your hobbies for full now in the afterlife when you no longer have revenge to get.” 

And with both her son and granddaughter teaming up like this, Frigga gave up just to get some peace and quiet. 

  
  


The area for the dance performance was indeed bigger than anything Frigga had seen in her mortal life. Then again, the Dwarrow of old times had all the time in the world to plan and craft something like this together. As they found their seats, she made sure to sit so Loki had a good view of the dance area despite her shorter statue as a result of being trapped in the still not fully mature body of a late adolescent. 

“Oooh, this is so interesting!” 

The music was made by fiddles and drums, and sure enough, the dancers proved themselves to be very well-trained in this dance form. Rumour said that it had its origins in the marching made by army troops, which likely had some truth based on the dance steps that was fast and made with precise movements while keeping the upper body stiff. Some of the dance performers even had a very thin version of armour, as well simple spears and shields that clearly were not intended for battle at all. 

“Now this is something worth watching indeed.” 

Frigga thought that there was something familiar about one of the dancers, but she could not put a finger on who it was. Then saw who it was; Kóri, the librarian from Belegost. That he danced in the front with such self-confidence, among the most visible dancers instead of being in the background, spoke of high skills in this dance. 

~X~X~X~X~X~X 

And naturally, it turned out that Freja had been at the dance performance as well, spotting her friend and Loki among the others. 

“That librarian is one of those who never married when alive. Ant attempts of match-making here in the Halls have failed as well. Basically, he is married to his craft, in this case writing art,” she smiled at Frigga, not mentioning that she had learned through overhearing Brenna at a tea party that Kóri had mastered  _ a such fine level  _ of Eastern calligraphy here in the afterlife that it was a true waste of not using that skill in a courtship. 

“Scribes are important in society for those who can not write, yes, but I am not giving up my freedom for a spouse,” Frigga insisted, again showing the same stubbornness that Narvi had inherited along with her green eyes. 

  
  


Yet in a way, Frigga often ended up in the library where Kóri most often could be found due to his work. Sometimes it was for simply borrowing a book or two for herself, Balder or Loki in order to broaden their knowledge of a subject, other times she would hide in the library when her own parents and some other relative had tried to make her come along on a social event where other unmarried Dwarves would be present. 

“How hard is it for them to understand that I want to  _ stay off _ the marriage market here in the afterlife? I survived most of my mortal life as an unwed mother, and succeeded in raising my son to be a good person with respectable work, all on my own!” 

Kóri overheard her mutterings on the other side of the bookshelf, but did not draw attention to himself outside trying to fasten a newly made parchment showing off his latest calligraphy. This was not an easy task, as he happened to have forgotten something to fasten the parchment with. 

“What are you doing up there?” 

Now Frigga had shown up, and spotted him standing awkwardly up there on the second top-most step of the ladder. 

“Trying to figure out where to place this parchment where visitors can see it well, my Dam.” 

From where she stood, Frigga could see that he had the parchment far too high up to be read properly, so it was better to fasten it further down. Only when she had brought him something to fasten the parchment with, did she notice that it was calligraphy he had written. 

“Trying to impress someone by saying that they have the bearing of a queen and therefore wear an invisible crown?” she smirked when she read the first lyrics, recalling how Freja still would sometimes act as a Queen consort of Khazad-dûm out of habit from her mortal life, especially at important events. And the same would often happen to her predecessors too. 

“Every Dam of our race is a Queen in her own right.” 

As Kóri left to see if there were any books that had been given back after being borrowed out for a few weeks, Frigga tried to read the whole calligraphy. 

_ Blessed are those green eyes that shows inner strength _

She blushed slightly at realizing that it sounded very close to the colour of her own eyes, but tried to imagine it as a pure chance. Green eyes were rare, yes, and especially the shade that she shared with Narvi, but she was hardly the only one here in the Halls with that colour. It could very well be someone else that she had not met personally. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Belegost dance is inspired by RL Irish step dance
> 
> Freja is not trying to set up Frigga with someone, just hinting to that she should not base the memories of Mimir on how she views others


End file.
